TAKING THE INSTA OUT OF FALLING IN LOVE
If you’re reading this, you’re either here to spy on what I say so you can call me a hack (yeah, I see you lurking, Steve — say hi to your cat for me), OR you sometimes struggle to shove your characters together in a believable way.
But before I get to the part that’ll make Steve roll his eyes, I want to say that this blog probably won’t be all that useful for people writing actual romance, or novels where falling hard and fast is the point (these exist and they’re wonderful!). Rather, this blog is for those of you who’d like to include a romantic sub-plot, but are struggling to make it feel earned.
Which is something I also struggle with sometimes, especially since I have a soft spot for enemies to lovers tropes and VERY short timelines.
My last book was exactly this: enemies to lovers, and my two trash kids only had a week on the page to get it together.
So here are some tricks I used to make that romance feel earned, when in real life, both parties would still be playing OMG don’t text them back yet, you’ll seem desperate!!!
1. THE SIGNPOSTING
In YA, especially, we tend to signpost to our readers the moment when the eventual love interest first appears.
Maybe we talk about their eyes (flecked with gold), or their hair (mussed and slightly too long), or how they’re EXACTLY the right amount of taller… and all that is great (seriously — I live here), but sometimes, in an attempt to whisper a wild love interest appears, we end up screaming OMG THE LOVE INTEREST IS HERE DID YOU SEE THEM??? And in narratives where the characters are on opposite sides, this can end up feeling like… too much too soon.
So what I like to do is add a little bite to my bark.
Example: I notice him the moment he steps inside, not only because the whole place seems to fall silent when he does, but because he’s an absolute idiot.
I mean, look, I’m not subtle. The world literally stops when my LI walks in; you’d see this signpost from space, but the fact that it’s immediately followed by an insult helps avoid that feeling that my MC is focusing on all the wrong things.
Bark, bite.
This can also work in situations where there is no animosity between the two leads. The bite in your sentence doesn’t have to be that the LI is an absolute idiot or super evil TM… maybe your MC simply mentions they’re already in a relationship (which later dissolves), or they’re equally focused on another pretty thing walking by.
It’s just subterfuge, really. Making sure you’re balancing the page time dedicated to the MC swooning, with them not swooning. Letting the reader know that this person has potential, but hey, so does this bagel I’m eating.
2. DEATH TO INSTA LOVE WITH A THOUSAND PAPER CUTS
This is an extension of the bark/bite technique above.
You know how when you actively dislike someone, all their flaws are magnified? Well, if your MC has no reason to like the LI, then they’re probably noticing the bad stuff more than the good. Get that down in words.
For every sneak peek at their chiselled abs, have your MC also comment on how smug they are, or how wrong, annoying, loud, boring, brainwashed, or [insert choice of wrong here].
Because of course assholes can be attractive. Hell, you just described my twenties. But we do tend to realise they’re still assholes behind that dazzling smile — at least until they convince us otherwise (hi, boyfriend. Sorry I thought you were a shallow asshole when we first met. You really are too pretty though).
In the case of our non-enemies situation, this technique just means that you keep reminding the reader of why they can’t be the LI.
Think Bram in Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda. He’s mentioned at several points throughout the book, but generally around a reminder of how he’s probably not gay. At one point, Simon even decides he’s definitely straight after seeing him kiss a girl.
3. GIVE YOUR LOVE INTEREST A SAVE THE CAT MOMENT
So at some point, your MC is going to need to start actively liking the LI.
This is easy in slow burns, or books where a lot of time is passing. Less so in books where things have to happen fast. I mean, how do enemies turn to lovers in the space of a few days and have it feel believable?
Usually, what’s missing for me in books that feel insta-lovey is a catalyst moment that makes the MC see their LI in a different light.
Which is why I like to give my LIs a save the cat moment.
Obviously, they don’t have to actually save a cat (though saving cats is tight), but there needs to be something which makes the MC stop and go: okay, wow, maybe you’re not so bad after all.
It could be a big thing like risking their life for the MC (my poison of choice), or it could be a tiny thing like saying something unexpected. What your LI’s save the cat moment is will entirely depend on your set up and story, but adding one in usually goes a long way to making the reader go: OH. I SEE. YOU’RE GOOD NOW.
It’s also something that’s really easy to check for during beta reads. Just ask your CPs if they can remember the moment they started properly believing the romance. A good catalyst moment is usually memorable (mine tend to involve drowning and/or bleeding from the eyes, so you know… hard to miss).
4. MINIMISING FEELINGS
The thing about love is we tend to either hunt for it, or run as fast as we can in the opposite direction.
In the type of book this blog is most useful for, you’re probably more likely to encounter that second one.
Why? Because if I hate you, I’m probably going to hate the fact that I’m catching feelings for you. I would likely be in denial about it. I would probably try to reason away my feelings until such time as we’re finally stuck in a room with only one bed. Even after the fact, I might try to push you away.
I find that keeping this dynamic in mind helps me pull my characters back so that even after they’ve shared their first romantic moment, it doesn’t go from 0-60. A kiss — or even sex — doesn’t always negate doubt. Sometimes it even compounds it. Which, as an added bonus, is another great source of tension.
And yes, this can work in non-enemies to lovers books too. Think Lara Jean minimising/ignoring her feelings for Kavinsky over and over because in her head, he’s still in love with Gen.
5. JUST SAY NO TO OVERBLOWN DECLARATIONS OF LOVE
Before you slap me, know that I’m a big fan of declarations of love in the right circumstance. But for my personal taste, they rarely ever belong early in a book/series — especially when the characters start off as diametrically opposed. Foes.
Again, this does not apply to romance novels, or books where falling hard and fast is the point. This is more for books where you’re already struggling with making the love sub-plot believable.
In that second case, it can be far more powerful to leave some things unsaid. To get the longing and build up on the page without having your characters verbalise it. To make the reader fear that OMG THE WORLD IS EXPLODING BUT THESE IDIOTS HAVEN’T ADMITTED THEIR FEELINGS YET AND NOW THEY WON’T GET THE CHANCE.
It’s a great way to insert another layer into that romantic sub-plot. And when love is happening fast, the more layers you can add to that cake, the better.
This actually goes for any cake in general.
And now that I’m thinking about cake, it’s probably time to wrap this up.
But before I do… let’s have one last bonus tip! (That’ll teach you for thinking I was done, Steve.)
6. YOUR LOVE INTEREST SHOULD PROBABLY HAVE A REASON TO EXIST OTHER THAN TO BE THE LOVE INTEREST
I know, blasphemy! But I have been told by nefarious sources who want to spoil our fun that a love interest needs to have such silly things as a purpose and a personality.
It sounds bonkers until you try it and realise oh, this is actually… good?
Seriously though, especially in enemies to lovers narratives, make sure both your leads have a purpose outside of each other. They each need to have a goal and their own plan for achieving it, and they should both be trying to keep their goal front and centre. The pursuit of those goals may push them together and keep them that way, but yeah, they should absolutely be driven by a need greater than so you’re cute, let’s hook up!
Coincidentally, giving your leads separate goals, or even — GASP — opposing goals, tends to make things interesting by adding in a layer of secrets and lies! AKA angst and drama.
And who doesn’t love angst and drama?
Demons that’s who.
Now, how about that cake?
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Didn’t find this useful? Just wait until after my save the cat moment.